They Don’t Want to Visit Anymore: When Parenting Time Gets Complicated (and What to Do About It)

# Navigating Parenting Time: Finding Balance in a Changing Landscape

## Understanding the Challenges of Parenting Time

Hey y’all,

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get said out loud enough. You’ve got a parenting time order in place. The court laid it out. Everybody was told to follow it. At one point, things were flowing. The visits were happening. The kids were going back and forth. You might not have liked the schedule, but at least there was one.

Then the kids got older… and everything changed.

Now they’ve got friends, phones, football practice, jobs, attitudes, and playlists that could melt your eardrums. The last thing they want to do is switch houses every weekend or hang out with a parent they haven’t bonded with in a while.

And now what used to be a clear court order feels like a tug-of-war with no rope in sight.

So, what do you do when parenting time turns into parenting tension?

Here’s the hard truth. The courts can write whatever they want on paper, but you can’t force a teenager to want to visit a parent, especially if the relationship hasn’t been nurtured or if life circumstances have changed. But you also can’t throw the whole order in the trash either. So, where’s the balance?

Here’s what I recommend:

1. Acknowledge that kids evolve.

What worked when they were 7 won’t always work when they’re 17. Their identity is shifting. Their schedules are packed. They want independence. You don’t have to agree with it, but you do have to factor it in.

2. Talk to your co-parent like it’s a team issue and not a battle.

Instead of saying, “They never want to come to your house,” try, “Our child is pulling away from both of us. How can we show up differently?" It’s not about blame. It’s about adjusting together.

3. Bring the child into the conversation, of course with boundaries.

Not for drama. Not to guilt trip. But to ask: What’s working? What’s not? What would help you feel heard, connected, and supported? You don’t give up your role as the parent, but you do let them have a voice.

4. Consider a parenting time reset.

Sometimes the original order no longer fits the new reality. You may need to adjust things informally or go back to mediation to work something out that actually works for now, not ten years ago.

5. Don’t force the relationship but rebuild it.

If the child doesn’t want to visit, the solution isn’t always legal action. Sometimes it’s lunch dates, therapy sessions, or texting once a week. Reconnecting slowly and consistently until trust is restored is key.

Let’s bring it back to EASE…

Parenting time doesn’t just affect calendars; it affects connection. When it stops working, it doesn’t mean anyone’s failed. It just means it’s time to re-evaluate and find a new way forward that puts the child’s needs and emotional health at the center.

The Importance of Open Communication

Open communication is crucial in navigating these changes. It allows both parents to understand the child's perspective better. Regular check-ins can help keep everyone on the same page. This can prevent misunderstandings and foster a sense of teamwork.

Building a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive environment is essential. Encourage your child to express their feelings about the current parenting time arrangement. This can help them feel valued and heard. It also opens the door for discussions about what changes might make things easier for everyone involved.

The Role of Professional Support

Sometimes, professional support can be beneficial. Family therapists or mediators can provide guidance and facilitate conversations. They can help both parents understand the child's needs and how to meet them effectively.

Embracing Flexibility

Flexibility is vital in parenting arrangements. As children grow, their needs change. Being willing to adapt can make a significant difference. It shows your child that their feelings matter and that you are committed to their well-being.

Conclusion

Navigating parenting time can be challenging, especially as children grow and their needs evolve. However, by acknowledging these changes and fostering open communication, parents can work together to create a supportive environment. Remember, it’s about the child’s emotional health and finding a balance that works for everyone.

✨ Come on over to The EASE Side. These conversations aren’t always easy, but they’re always worth having.

🔗 Struggling to co-parent through the transitions? Book a Conflict Clarity Coaching Call. Let’s figure it out together and of course without the drama.

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